Custody, parenthood, Uncategorized


Motherhood in the Age of Fear

I read Kim Brooks’ article, “Motherhood in the Age of Fear,” and I realized I have joined the ranks of mothers who have been condemned for being a mother. I am so grateful for her article. It gives me a small bit of comfort to know I am not alone.

I did not leave my kids in the car or let them play unattended at the park. In fact, I have been the mother who raised an eyebrow of suspicion and judgement at other mothers who did this. I am told I am guilty of being too much mother. My son has several emotional and learning issues. I have taken him to therapy, worked closely with teachers, made sure he has routines and boundaries. I am a teacher. I work with children. This is my occupation and my passion. However, my son’s father offers a life with none of these restrictions. No rules. He uses this as bait. Last week, a judge ruled that my 14-year old son would be better off living with his father and stepmother who have openly undermined my motherhood for 10 years. For the next four years, I am the noncustodial parent owing child support to a man who emotionally and physically abused me. He and his wife are a team continuing to brainwash and control my growing son’s heart and mind.

In my nonsensical situation this article made sense to me. For 14 years I tried to be a good mother who searched for balance between enabling and instilling independence for my child. I do not know my role right now. I am broken and defeated but I am understanding I am not alone as I navigate through my new life.

2 thoughts on “Motherhood”

  1. Our system is so broken and I wouldn’t even know where to begin with it. We do everything we can as parents and some days it feels like it isn’t enough and it was all for nothing. Those are the hardest days. We can only hope that when those kiddos aren’t with us, there is a light burning deep in them that knows right from wrong and know what we instilled in them during those moments together. Hang in there mamma.


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